Last day of "Freedom"

The family arrives tomorrow. It's been a hectic week for me. But it's nothing compared to the effort that everyone else has put it. My mom's insanely organized - and I emphasize both words. She's been planning this forever and I hope the results show up in terms of how smooth everything runs on Sunday. I hope for atleast half the planning and effort for my own wedding.

We leave for the hall tommorow afternoon, after lunch. The Mehndi function is tomorrow evening, which is pretty much an event for all the women folk to get jazzed up before the wedding. In this case we seem to blur the lines between who's allowed and who's not allowed to attend by opening it up to everyone, including males. (I think.) The next day starts early with the "Snathakam", a ritualistic preparation of the groom for the wedding. [You see there are various functions that a boy/man (some of these only for Brahmins) has throughout his life - the naming, the first feeding, the first education, the thread ceremony, the preparation of the groom, the wedding, and I suppose the 60th birthday.] Saturday evening is a visit to the temple followed by a formal welcoming of the groom's party by the bride's party (read: everyone gets new clothes!). Sunday is the actual wedding, the muhurtam is at 11:56am.

The wedding muhurtham as we observe in our family (I don't know what group of people this is common to) is when the bride and the groom put a mixture of jaggery and cumin seeds on each others heads. Incidentally this is exactly what was done at my (and my brother's) thread ceremony muhurtham as well - my parents place that same mixture on my head.

The actual wedding will have a lot of small ceremonies which are a lot of fun - the "I don't want to get married, but I'll change my mind if my Brother-in-law bribes me" trip by the groom, the washing of the groom's feet by the father of the bride as a prelude to asking him to marry his daughter, the bring being carried to the mandapam by the bride's maternal uncles, the pouring of rice on each other by the couple, showing the star Arundhati (one of my favourite names) to the bride by the groom etc.

Since this is a mixed-tradition wedding, I don't know which of these ceremonies will be in the wedding and which will be exchanged for some Tamil customs. Overall it should be a fun wedding.

The big change this trip

The last trip I made to India I was amazed at the proliferation of cell phones. Seemingly everyone had one, including the vegetable vendors and auto drivers. This time the big change I noticed in Hyderabad was the vast number of public toilets!

One of the many reasons I like the US is the easy access to toilets. Even if I have to pay (which I don't) I find it reassuring that I can basically find a toilet (and usually clean ones) within walking distance of most places I find myself in, and definitely when I'm on the road. When I visited London, I had to explicitly keep a list of public toilets (maybe I didn't know where to look) like the one in the museum, and when I needed to use one, I actually changed two trains and walked to the British Museum to use one. (There's also a pay and use stall near the St. Paul's Cathedral if you're making a list.)

But in India, the situation is terrible. Maybe because people (read: Men) don't mind urinating in public, there really wasn't a need to build toilets. There were a few "Sulabh Complex" buildings that you had to be lucky to find when you needed one. But now at various parts of the city there are these public toilets maintained by the city of Hyderabad where you can pay and use their facilities. In fact you have signs posted around alerting you to their presence - "Public toilet less then 1km this way -> ." It's incredible!

One small complaint though. Toilets in India are light years behind what they need to be. BTW, I'm not really not obsessed with toilets even though my friends and I made a point of visiting every single toilet on our first trip to the US, in all the flights and airports and I wrote about it in my webpage after that. Coming back, even in the best restaurants, multiplexes, malls and other places, the toilets are pretty crappy (no pun). They're all still "wet toilets" and I haven't seen a single bathroom with good washbasins let alone toilet paper - which apparently is one US cultural import that didn't result from the call centre and IT boom. On one hand George Costanza would be very useful here in terms of knowing which the good public bathrooms are. On the other hand Jerry Seinfeld would almost never enter one of these. (Come of think of it, that's what Elaine actually did in the reverse episode).

The Chilkur story and a Tirumala rant

So a question was asked of me about the Chilkur temple - if there are no Hundis or entrance tickets, then how do they run the temple? Turns out there is a very simple answer to that question - a trust. Obviously running the temples takes a finite amount of money, but that money is not "made" through the temple and that's what makes this temple unique.

And that uniqueness is at a threat. Apparently the Govt. of India (or A.P.) can appropriate any temple that it sees fit. I'm guessing it's some weird bastardization of "Eminent Domain." (Or maybe it's exactly Eminent Domain!) They've cast their eyes on the Chilkur temple because of its "profitability". So they're seeking to absorb it through the Endowments Department. There're a lot of protests against this move by people who want to preserve the sanctity of this temple.

Personally I oppose this takeover. We know how "great" Tirupathi has become. You can't even breathe in the air there without bribing a hundred officials. It's no longer about God or spirituality. I am for the capitalistic idea where everything is for sale, but I draw the line at temples. I'm even opposed to the idea of buying tickets to get into temples. Stand in line like everyone else. Even "VIPs" and politicians have to stand in line like everyone else. It's shameful that I can cut in line ahead of others because I have more money. So I ask that everyone stop going to the temple at Tirumala to lower the "demand" for that temple and consequently give more incentive to everyone involved to make it a "cleaner", a more honest place.

I want there to exist more alternatives to places like Tirupathi. Places like Chilkur. Where everyone (as far as I could see) stood shoulder to shoulder in their worship of God. If we can't even achieve that, I don't see that we've made much progress as a community.

What's not to negotiate?

Slowly I am realizing that life in India is a whole lot more flexible than I thought it was. You bargain everywhere! At first (when I was very young and then again during my first few trips to India) I thought bargaining was limited to buying vegetables and riding autos. But apparently you can try to lower the price pretty much anywhere.

JBR and I (we hung out one more time yesterday to do some massive shopping and checking out some more places in the city) went to a "wedding mall" yesterday. These wedding malls have come up all over the city since clearly wedding is big business. At this wedding mall after getting what we wanted to get, we strolled into the men's wear section. Being a pretty big mall I thought the prices printed on the clothes were pretty much set in stone. Wrong. Gold store for jewelry, ask for a discount. The only places where we didn't bargain was in restaurants.

Personally I hate bargaining (too much pride) and I also can't bargain. Maybe one those is because of the other. My dad's the best, he can finagle upto a 50% off in electronic stores, but usually around 10%. JBR's pretty good too. My brother just hasn't got the experience but he gets points for trying.

BTW, this negotiation is not limited to the simple act of buying. Needing change at a railway station I walked into a manned phone booth. I asked the guy if he could break a Rs.5 coin for me. "No," came the reply. On a hunch, I just stood there staring at him. Slowly he opened his cash box and dug around and brought out five one-rupee coins. Another incident involved the very unscrupulous people at the temple where my upanayanam was performed. Due to circumstances we couldn't get the function hall cleaned like we'd agreed to do before the event. But we were willing to hire the temple's staff to clean it. What should have been a direct affair turned into a great "good cop, bad cop" routine by the management there - a flat out refusal to let us use their staff and then slowly "giving" ground to us by "letting us talk them into" allowing the usage of the staff.

Can't we all just fix a price and move on?

The last week for marriage prep and Quick hits

It's the home stretch for my brother's wedding. By this time next week he would have been married for over 24 hours. The bride (Uma) arrived in Hyderabad today with her family. We met them at the airport in the middle of a big shopping spree. There are atleast two more such "sprees" to go to in the next couple of days. This doesn't include shopping by the bride's side and shopping by my brother and Uma when they do their hanging out. And here I was thinking we'll have time to go take a vacation as a family! (I'll be pretty free the next three days, so if you have any specific suggestions on what I should do, or see, please let me know.)

Anyway:

• One of the places we went to shop was a big mall called Hyderabad Central. It's a five-storey building with a multiplex (PVR Cinemas) on top. There was a significant range of choices for all sorts of purchases but I was personally peeved at the service at one of the stores. The guy kept showing us clothes he wanted to show us instead of the clothes we wanted to see, and he was horrible at getting to understand what style of clothes we were looking for. Say what you will but "personal shopping" takes a lot of talent. And apparently this guy had been doing this for 10 years! I was about to give him a piece of my mind but decided that someone who was this bad after 10 years just couldn't be taught.
• The pace of life here is amazing. Everything's so relaxed. The thing that cracked me up the most was how it was impossible to find the runtime of a movie. When JBR and I went to watch a movie, we tried to plan out the whole evening to within 10 mins. (If you know me, you'll understand.) So when we found out a certain movie starts at 3:15pm, we wanted to know when it would end so we could plan our next item. It was impossible to find. No paper would mention it in their review, no local website either. The theatre itself had no mention and lastly the person selling the tickets had no idea either. Traffic too is so bad that it's impossible to stick to any timings. (I'm not just talking about peak hours, there are areas where rush hour lasts from 7am to midnight.)(Yes I realize the irony of "rush hours" and "relaxed schedules" but I'm sure you get the meaning.)
• Many of you might not know a lot about this but 14 villagers were shot during the second week of March in West Bengal. This happened right around the time I landed in India and being busy with stuff this went into my backburner. But I've been reading more about this and hope to get a small discussion on this topic soon.

What goes around, comes around

India has virtually been eliminated from the World Cup after their loss to Sri Lanka. Make no mistake, barring a surprising loss by a motivated Bangladesh (a Test playing nation) to a team of "weekend cricketers" in Bermuda, India is out. And even if they do make it to the next level, it'll be a shame to sneak in on such an embarrassing note. While everyone's quick to blame the team for the loss, let's not forget the shockingly bad LBW decisions that were missed by the umpires. The bowlers bowled their hearts out with special mention to Ajit Agarkar. But the batsmen failed their tasks once again. How you go from scoring 413 to failing to chase 250 (regardless of the opponents) I'll never understand. Or forgive.

(A bitterly funny fact here is that two of the largest cricket playing nations have been eliminated from the World Cup at this point. Which is a huge hit for the sponsors. So there is talk that the crucial match between Bangladesh and Bermuda will be fixed by the sponsors to keep India in the Cup and hence the one Billion strong market still biting at the ads.

India is the largest cricket playing nation in the world. Calling it an obsession here is understating it. People live and die by it. The recent successes and huge TV contracts led to the players making obscene amounts of money. They're more visible in the streets and on TV in ads than the movie stars. But of course, the adulation they received is nothing compared to the brickbats they received when they lost at first to Bangladesh and now to Sri Lanka. People went as far as protesting in front of the house of a former player Venkatapathy Raju. Why? Because he's on the selection committee. In fact one of the questions that was asked of the captain Rahul Dravid was if he fears for his safety when he lands in India.

A very relevant question in light of the death, and what has now been termed a murder, of the Pakistani Cricket coach Bob Woolmer. Woolmer, a world renowned strategist was found dead in his bed. At first it was announced that he died of a heart attack, attributed to the high stress of his job. I for one took the news at face value. But almost everyone I talked to India (my family and friends) immediately started referring to it as a murder and half-jokingly make comments about "those murderous fanatics" (Pakistani players and fans). A few days later speculation turned into certainity as the police announced they would treat it like a homicide. Woolmer's wife who at first denied all "conspiracy theories" about her husband's death, soon recanted and said that she did not rule out foul play. (Me thinks she was threatened too. You say "Duh!"?)

It's a really sad state of affairs in the subcontinent. The rivalry between India and Pakistan has always been intense and one that I personally have enjoyed a lot regardless of the outcomes of each game. While their World Cup victory has been more recent than ours, I've always enjoyed the fact that we've always beaten them in World Cups. Even now, the only reason the reaction following the Indian loss was more sober was because of the Pakistani loss. Nothing cheers up an Indian fan more than a Pakistani loss, probably even more than an Indian win, to the point that the sentiment has been "I don't care if you don't win the World Cup, but don't lose to Pakistan there." (I'm sure the sentiment is reflected in Pakistan.) But a sadder way in which the Indian scene is better than the Pakistani one is that they're a few degrees more obsessed with cricket than we are. While we burn effigies and destroy property, they take lives. Last World Cup a fan shot himself after Pakistan lost to India. Their coach was murdered a few days ago. Not that we're a whole lot better - a fan in Hyderabad (India) died of a heart attack the night of the loss to Sri Lanka. It was really sad to see the picture of his young widow (the guy was only 28) in the paper today, such a meaningless death.

Let me echo the sentiments of countless editorials in the papers here. It's just a game, people really need to stop taking these losses so hard, just like they need to stop worshipping all the players after every single knock of 50 runs. They're mortals, and it's a team game. So slow down and just enjoy the game.

Hyderabad visited so far.

Well it's just a short entry to note the places I've visited so far in the city. I got to see a whole lot more of the city than I usually do. The only places I haven't really visited are the NW side and the SW side. Who knows, I might get to check out the zoo sometime and that'll add more mileage to my trip.

The Chilkur Marathon or The Visa God

In Hyderabad, about an hour and a half from my home, there exists a place called Chilkur (or Chilukur). There's a temple for Balaji (or Venkateshwara, or Srinivasa), the same God that there's a temple for in Tirupathi. This temple (God) apparently is quite "powerful". Many devotees that wish for something here find their wishes come true. And since a lot of students and professionals apply for a (US) visa, and consequently get it, this God has the nickname - Visa God, or Visa Balaji. Just do a Google search for "Visa God" and you'll find talk of this temple. However, there's a "deal". When you make a wish, you walk around the temple 11 times and leave. If and when the wish comes true, you come back and walk 108 times around the temple to thank God.

My brother make a wish for something (which for his sake I'll keep a secret) a few years ago and it came true - two wishes actually. So he had to make his thanksgiving trip to the temple. We reached the temple at around 7:30am. It was a very innocuous-looking temple. The first thing that hits you when you walk into the temple is the thick crowd making rounds inside the inner corridor, around the main deity. There must have been around 400-500 people there inside that small temple - and it was a weekday morning. Apparently it gets even more crowded during weekends and holidays. They were there in all shapes and sizes, young girls and old men, some crippled, all making their turns dutifully. Some making their 11, the others fulfilling their quota of 108. The best part of all this? They give you a card with a 108 numbers on it for you to mark them off as you finish each round. Don't believe me?


My friend JBR and I had done a quick calculation that left us with the impression that it would take upward of three hours to do the rounds. The crowd has a mind of its own and everyone has their own pace, and you can't really just go as fast as you want. But once we started our rounds, I realized that we could make this process very efficient. I used (American) Football as my guide. First off, we aligned as Fullback (me) and Halfback (my brother). Then I started looking for holes in the "defense" and squeezing through. Also, there was a chained off lane adjacent to the innermost wall, presumably for entering the temple when there isn't a big crowd. This lane was mostly empty. We started darting in and darting out of this lane as needed by jumping over the chain.

If you're wondering why we didn't just walk in the empty lane - any slow person in that lane will just kill your speed if you're stuck behind them. Also, people watching others in the lane decided to get into the lane to see if they could make good time, and that slowed the others down. But the trick is not to commit yourself to one lane, you have to be willing and able to dart in and out of the single-person lane as and when the situation demands. Improvise. I suppose we both were in pretty good shape in the end that we didn't need a break and in fact were sprinting across short distances when gaps opened up.

It was very similar to running a marathon. You start with a big crowd jostling for space. Just like in a marathon, it takes you a while to find your pace. After a while you start questioning your wardrobe choices. You try to make do with as few breaks as possible because you want to be done with it (there were vendors selling water bottles there). And in the end, if you manage not to collapse and with all your body parts intact, you breathe a hugh sigh of relief.

We made it through the 108 rounds (without the card) in about 90-95 mins. I suppose that's a new Chilukur marathon record!

I must mention something here about the temple. Unlike many other temples, this is a rare temple which isn't "commercial". You're actively discouraged from offering money to the temple. The first time you visit the temple (to make your wish) you're told to make your 11 rounds and leave, with instructions to return after your wish comes true to make the 108 rounds. Then, if you want to, and can afford it, you're asked to bring back some oil for the lamps in the temple. That's it! I loved this temple. I loved it more than I like Tirupathi now.

(I can hear Vikrant say, "This is blasphemy, this is madness." No Vikrant, "THIS ... IS ... CHILUKUR!")

Obsession of a nation

India has played two games in the World Cup so far. And what a contrast it has been. After a large number of prayers and poojas to ensure a victory, with the hopes of a billion Indians on their shoulders, the team took off to the Carribean. The first match was against Bangladesh. Being a significant underdog, they were supposed to lose. The team played very tentatively and lost a game they would win 9 out of 10 times. Their loss ended up surprising everyone, India included of course. That was was followed by huge demonstrations and riots in India. People burned effigies of the players and destroyed a house (that was being built) of one of the players. One of the signs at the next match read something like, "Indian players: Win now or stay here forever". People had decided that India was going to get eliminated and the only reason the riots were more violent was that Pakistan got eliminated the day before by losing to Ireland and if anything that can cheer up Indians after a loss, it's a Pakistan loss.

The next match could not be a bigger contrast. As India played Bermuda, another underdog, records tumbled as India recorded the fifth highest score ever achieved and won with the largest margin in the game's history. The players that were stuggling earlier came to form and scored at a torrid pace. It was as good a demolition of an opponent as I have ever seen. Now we all look forward to the next game with relatively cooler heads. It's good to be normal. I must say it's been great fun having all my uncles and grandparents around. We've been playing corridor cricket at home daily. Also, in the past, when I saw people watch the Super Bowl with their families, I was a little jealous. Now it's great to watch cricket with my family and listen to people opine about every little thing. No little incident on or off the field goes by without a million explanations from each of us regardless of age. Cricket is truly a great equalizer.

Really bad habits

(The wireless connection at home died for about 24 hours. So the lack of updates for a while. Also, if you're still reading this blog, continue to write comments. And those of you that have left comments, I'm replying in the comments section again.)

I'm picking up some really bad habits here. As you might know, my mom hired a cook for the duration of this vacation. Ostensibly so she could get some free time to sit and chat with us. But my mother being who she is, spends as much time supervising the cooking as she did cooking. So she hasn't sat down peacefully yet. But the upside is that for the first time in as long as I can remember, my mom got to sit down and have food served to her in our home. It was good to have the four of us sit down to eat a meal.

However, I'm picking up some bad habits during my stay here. At first while I was being waited on by our cook, it felt a little awkward. But now it seems perfectly normal. That and having my used glasses and plates picked up. It's going to be really hard to get used to picking up after myself when I get back.

I feel like I've been born again

"Chatussagara paryantam ..." with these words I introduced myself to my mother and aunts and begged for rice. This rice is to be cooked by me since I am a young bachelor who is off to school and am on my own now. After a short 10 hour ceremony, I have become a twice-born. I carry with me a sacred thread to remind me of this and hopefully I shall stay true to it.

The begging part of the ceremony is not limited to just my mother and aunts, nor is it limited to rice. It extended to all my relatives and friends, and alms were given in the form of cash. So if you are reading this, please feel free to drop off cash the next time I see you. I also accept iPhones, Wiis and Learjets.

The rest of the city!

JBR and I clearly travelled through half the city the night coz we were driving forever. We decided to tackle the other half today. He specifically wanted me to see the HiTec city and I didn't argue. After a breakfast of Idli and Chutney we headed out. Did you know that they make a regular chutney in the restaurant and then give a watered-down version for the patrons eating in the restaurant, but if you get the food packed, they give you the original drier chutney? This apparently is to prevent the packed food from dripping. Very clever!

Watching the HiTec city brought out one specific feeling in me - pride. Let's take a moment to recognize the effort and vision of our ex-CM Naidu. (I will not entertain any arguments that YSR is a better CM after watching the farmers continue to starve.) The whole area is a set of beautiful buildings housing offices for Microsoft, Dell, Deloitte etc. I loved the architechture. That whole area is developing real fast. Erstwhile actor Murali Mohan bought a lot of land here for peanuts and now it's worth millions. What an awesome investment!

Speaking of development, in Jubilee Hills, a piece of land was apparently bought in an auction for Rs.300 crores per acre! A "plot", a size of land to build a house, sold for Rs. 75 lakhs near my house, which is pretty much in the outer reaches of the city. It's rapidly becoming impossible to buy land here.

We ate and killed a few more hours in a book store and then met my family in the city. My brother arrived and we went out to buy rings for our thread ceremonies. I selected one which has a very New Zealand-like olive branch on it. The four of us were together for the first time in more than 6 years.

Our relatives started coming in today morning, most of whom I haven't seen in years and definitely not all at once in forever. I'll still be missing a couple of my cousins. Hopefully when I get married I'll get them all here.

My ceremony is tommorow. I'll be waking up at about 2am and will be regulated till atleast 4pm! For an independent person like me, being with all my relatives is a mixed feeling. I love seeing all of them, but I hate having someone or the other around me every few mins. I barely got away to write this entry. But I still like having them around and I think that outweighs the rest. By the next entry here, I'll be a twice-born, ready to handle the mantlehood of being a man.

Do deewane shahar mein

JBR picked me up in his car. The boy has a car and a driver!! He's living it up. He's the regional head of sales, he is in charge of sales in seven states and gets to appoint his own distributors and other people.

Anyway, we went right away to Prasad IMAX and then to another multiplex in seach of a movie. The parking situation being what is it - horrible - it makes more sense to go to a multiplex than a regular theatre, park, find out there are no tickets, and then take your car out and then park at a second theatre. Instead we just went to the theatre, and picked the movie playing next and watched it. It happened to be a piece of crap called "1971" - it was about the plights of the POWs from the 1971 war languishing in Pakistani jails, but aside from its message, it was just a very long and very boring and very stupid movie. After that we went to visit another of my friends from a really long time ago called Arun Harnoon. I hadn't seen Arun in close to eight years. He's now married, and has an year-old son. His father gave me a very unique compliment when he talked to me. He said I have a "very good voice" and that I should put it to good use. I thought he was being sarcastic (because I have a loud voice) but he was serious. Cool!

We ate at a S. Indian veggie buffet before we went to watch our second movie for the night - Okkadunnadu, a relatively unique movie with a different story. I've always said that I'd rather watch a bad Telugu movie than a "good" Hindi movie and my philosophy was give affirmation in the choice of these two movies. A word on the buffet. I don't know if this is the case in all the buffets in here but it was very weird watching the people behave around the food. In short, the human traffic around the food was very much like the vehicular traffic in the city. Very chaotic and disorganized, but everyone is completely in control. People were eating right at the buffet table after getting their food. There was no line - I don't mean that in the sense that people were rushing to get their food, but that people were just headed right for their food regardless of who else was already there, and without regard for bumping into people or the risk for spilling the food.

(Coming up - a look at HiTec city and the arrival of the guests.)

A few images

A signboard for a scooter dealer. This image was NOT uploaded using Bluetooth.










A couple of images of the HiTec City. An awesome collection of buildings in that neighbourhood.


An ad for safe sex using a cartoon condom.

Kalyan: FOB in the city

Today my friend Kiran (not to be confused with my brother Kiran) will be coming to my part of the woods and take me out into the city. Kiran (JBR Kiran) has been my friend since 11th/12th and he's very knowledgeable about the city and hot spots to hang out. I expect to watch a Telugu movie, hit a few snack bars, and maybe even sample the night life. My brother will be landing tonight and the relatives the day after and the proverbial S will hit the F. So I decided to take this chance to live in the city for a day while the going is still relatively easy.

I will try to make the blog a little more livelier by posting a few pics next. Should be interesting.

Four-wheel drive in a Walmart

On the very first day of my visit here, about a few hours after I landed, I was off doing my first bit toward my brother's wedding - a huge grocery shopping trip. The grocery list was so big that we hired a car to take us to the store, the only store big enough to satisfy our needs - a Walmart-type store called Spencer's (I don't know if this is related to the Spencer's Plaza in Begumpet/Ameerpet, probably is). This used to be "Giant" but now it's owned by Spencer's. And it's not just a "Supermarket" anymore, no sir, those things were tiny. This is (bated breath) a HYPERMART! While it's only the size of a regular Walmart, for India that's huge. And being located near the busy RTC 'X' Roads, that's a very impressive store.

I won't bore you with all the details of our shopping, but suffice to say that we spent about Rs 15,000 (about $300) which keeping in mind that a rupee goes a lot further, is a lot of volume of groceries like dals, vegetables, plates, cups, pickles etc. We picked up a shopping cart, and then another and then two more. Each of them filled to the brim. I had quite a workout picking up 10 Kgs (22lbs) packets of flour and sugar and loading up the cart with them.

The trickiest part was moving the carts. You see, they had all wheel drives! In the US, only the front wheels are completely free, the rear wheels are locked. Atleast in the ones I've encountered. (Read the last few lines of the third paragraph.) So basically, while you can do something really cool like just slide the cart sideways, while guiding a 170 lbs cart down a slope, you can't really steer very well and you have to be very careful. Imagine pushing around those damn things (four of them) down to the register and then to the car, and then loading and then later unloading them. Should explain why I got sick right away right?

Well it's either that or the food I ate the first day - bonda (with chutney), sandwich and a mango drink, water from a tender coconut, and some of that tender coconut, S.Indian thali with Sprite, a Fanta for the ride back home, Veg. Fried Rice, Fried Vegetable curry, Panneer Butter Masala, Veg. stuffed paratha and a coconut burfi to finish it all. Nah, I'm not going to die of food poisoning am I?

Anatomy of a misunderstanding

This will make a lot of sense if you understand Telugu, but should be enjoyable regardless.

As some of you know, my brother's getting married in a couple of weeks. As the mother of the groom, my mother was suggesting a few (ok, a lot) additions to the wedding to the mother of the bride. The fact that the bride's mother is Tamilian while my mother is Telugu wasn't helping in this process. One of the suggestions she made was that the bride should have a "kanda pilaka" tied to her waist.

A step back here. The tradition is that the bride should have a "kanda", a yam, tied to her waist either at the ceremony, or as she enters the house of her inlaws. Since it should be a whole yam, the more colloquial thing to do is to use a small yam. A "kanda pilaka" is a yam sapling, or the stem of a yam plant.

Somewhere in process of conveying the idea that we need to use a small yam, my mom accidentally said "kanda pilaka". Of course, this was said while giving a list of other items the bride needs to bring to the home of the inlaws, which included a lot of silver items. So suddenly, the item the bride needs to have tied to her waist became a "vendi kanda pilaka" - a silver yam sapling!

So if you see my sister-in-law with a plant tied to her waist, don't be alarmed, it's just a misunderstanding.

I haven't landed yet

A crazy realization hit me on my layover in Detriot - that for the first time, I'll know that most of my co-passengers on an international flight will not just be Indians, but Telugu. And wouldn't you know it, once I reach my boarding gate in Amsterdam, everyone there is Telugu. As Vikrant said, I suppose it's cool that Hyderabad reached the status where it can support an international flight. For this flight my co-passengers include a couple of ABCD girls who seem hell-bent on informing everyone around them of their ABCD status, which of course led to the usual snickering among the rest about how "it's sad kids these days can't speak Telugu anymore". Can't we all just get along!

It wasn't bad enough that the aircraft was one of the worst I ever travelled in - it was a 3-3-3 config, with no individual screens. I got punished with the worst seat in the aircraft, the window seat. You see, in a 3-3-3 config, everyone who's not in an aisle seat needs to jump over just one person in order to use the bathroom or just walk around. Except the people in the window seats. It was awful. I just had to hold it in for a very long time before I finally just gave up and had to move the two people next to me.

You know what I hate more than Indians on an International flight? Indian with BO! God! That flight stunk! For once I would be in favor of spraying the whole flight with room freshner. What's with the aversion to deodorant. Hey, I have bad BO, but no one knows because I USE DEODORANT DAMN IT!

They did serve a lot of food on that flight. About five different sets of meal service. I imagine the flight attendants are just bored and to kill time they just walk up and down the aisles offering food and drinks to everyone. Anyway, somehow made it to Hyderabad with my nostrils and my kidney intact, can't ask for more.